Saturday, October 14, 2006
Coffee?? Beans, more like!
Hello, I am Hodgebeast Jr. and I am wrathful.
Today, my friend Larry the Llama and myself visited a fine coffee plantation - I thought would be good. I had been lead to understand by my Dad that there would be plants which had special flowers which spewed hot coffee - this appears to have been a fib.
What there are are silly plants with little red beans on them; this is stupid. If I wanted to drink something made out of little red beans, I would drink cranberry juice. But I don't do that, as I am a Hodge.
So, I was puzzled and wrathful. There was a fellow there who told me these were indeed coffee beans and that they had to be dried, roasted and ground. I thought this was silly and told him that he should just buy coffee from Starbucks.
He then chased myself and Larry off his plantation with a machette, which I called unfair. However, we have now fled into a place Larry calls a "Banana Republic". I don't know why - there are no bananas to be seen.
We have met a nice man called Colonel Manuel Villalobos; he has a very smart uniform and a lovely palace, together with a lot of very smartly-dressed guards. He spoke with myself and Larry about international politics and government. He has a poster of a fellow called Che on his wall - he looks like some sort of long-haired Beatle-type.
Anyway, I am typing this in Colonel Villalobos' palace - it would be easier, but there are loads of people outside chanting "Down with El Presidente!" and US-backed contras keep dropping in and blowing holes in the walls with shaped charges.
Much love,
Hodge Jr.
Today, my friend Larry the Llama and myself visited a fine coffee plantation - I thought would be good. I had been lead to understand by my Dad that there would be plants which had special flowers which spewed hot coffee - this appears to have been a fib.
What there are are silly plants with little red beans on them; this is stupid. If I wanted to drink something made out of little red beans, I would drink cranberry juice. But I don't do that, as I am a Hodge.
So, I was puzzled and wrathful. There was a fellow there who told me these were indeed coffee beans and that they had to be dried, roasted and ground. I thought this was silly and told him that he should just buy coffee from Starbucks.
He then chased myself and Larry off his plantation with a machette, which I called unfair. However, we have now fled into a place Larry calls a "Banana Republic". I don't know why - there are no bananas to be seen.
We have met a nice man called Colonel Manuel Villalobos; he has a very smart uniform and a lovely palace, together with a lot of very smartly-dressed guards. He spoke with myself and Larry about international politics and government. He has a poster of a fellow called Che on his wall - he looks like some sort of long-haired Beatle-type.
Anyway, I am typing this in Colonel Villalobos' palace - it would be easier, but there are loads of people outside chanting "Down with El Presidente!" and US-backed contras keep dropping in and blowing holes in the walls with shaped charges.
Much love,
Hodge Jr.
// posted by the hodge @ 6:18 PM 
